| Age | Sources and Pages | Code Number | Quotations | Relevant Key Words, Phrases and Their Code Numbers |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 2 | SS 20 |
38-2-1 | I was very fond of my godmother.It seems to me I was judging things then as I do now. I was listening carefully to what Marie was teaching Celine in order to do what Celine did. I was listening carefully to what Marie was teaching Celine in order to do what Celine did. After Marie came out of the Visitation, to obtain permission to go into the room and did everything she wanted. She gave me a lot of gifts, and in spite of their insignificant value these pleased me a lot. | |
| 4? | SS 29 -30 |
38-4-1 |
How happy I really was at that age, dear Mother! I
had already begun to enjoy
life; virtue had its charming qualities for me, and I was, it seems to me,
in the same dispositions then as I am now, enjoying a firm control over my
actions. Ah! how quickly those sunny years passed by, those years of my childhood, but what a sweet imprint they have left on my soul! I recall the days Papa used to bring us to the pavilion; the smallest details are impressed in my heart. I still feel the profound and poetic impression which were born in my soul at the sight of fields enameled with corn-flowers and all types of wild flowers. Already I was in love with the wide-open spaces. Space and the gigantic fir trees, the branches sweeping down to the ground, left in my heart an impression similar to the one I experience still today at the sight of nature. |
|
| 4 | SS 34 -35 |
38-4-2 | I must admit, Mother, my happy disposition completely changed after Mamma's death. I, once so full of life, became timid and retiring, sensitive to an excessive degree. One look was enough to reduce me to tears, and the only way I was content was to be left alone completely. I could not bear the company of strangers and found my joy only within the intimacy of the family. |
39-4-1 (Pauline) |
| 13 | SS 91. |
38-13-1 | …A month before her entrance into Carmel, Papa brought us to Alencon, but this trip was far from resembling the first; everything about it was sadness and bitterness for me. I cannot express the tears I shed on Mamma's grave because I had forgotten to bring the bouquet of corn-flowers I had gathered especially for her. I really made a big fuss over everything! I was just the opposite of what I am now, for God has given me the grace not to be downcast at any passing thing. When I think of the past, my soul overflows with gratitude when I see the favors I received from heaven. It is true that I desired the grace of “having absolute control over my actions, of not being their slave but their mistress.”(IC p.96 III, 38) These words of the Imitation touched me deeply, but I had to buy, so to speak, this inestimable grace through my desires;… |
24-13-1 (Mercy of God, Graces) |
| 18 | SS 173 -174. |
38-18-1 | …I felt disposed to say nothing of my interior dispositions since I didn't know how to express them, but I had hardly entered the confessional when I felt my soul expand. After speaking only a few words, I was understood in a marvelous way and my soul was like a book in which this priest read better than I did myself. He launched me full sail upon the waves of confidence and love which so strongly attracted me, but upon which I dared not advance. He told me that my faults caused God no pain, and that holding as he did God's place, he was telling me in His name that God was very much pleased with me. |
4-18-1 (Trust, Confidence, Abandonment), 17-18-1 (Love Jesus, The Love of God, Charity) |
| 24 | LC 90, Jul. 12. |
38-24-1 | “She told me that formerly she had
to undergo a rough battle with
regard to a lamp to be prepared for Mother Marie de Gonzague's
family that arrived unexpectedly to spend the night in the extern
Sisters' quarters.
The struggle was so violent, there came such
thoughts against authority into her mind, that, not to give in to
them, she had to implore God's help with insistence. At the same
time, she applied herself as well as she could to what had been
demanded of her. It was during the night silence. She was portress,
and Sister St. Raphael was first in charge: “To conquer myself I imagined I was preparing the lamp for the Blessed Virgin and the Child Jesus; and then I did it with an incredible care, not leaving on it the least speck of dust, and, little by little, I felt a great appeasement and a great sweetness. Matins sounded, and I was not able to go to it immediately, but I experienced such a disposition of mind, I had received such a grace, that if Sister St. Raphael had come, and had said, for example, that I was mistaken about the lamp, that I had to prepare another, I would have obeyed her happily. From that day, I made the resolution never to consider whether the things commanded me appeared useful or not.” |
1-24-7 (Self-love, Nature), 7-24-15 (Renunciation, Forget Self), 24-24-16 (Mercy of God, Graces) |
| 24 | LC 129, Aug. 3. |
38-24-2 |
2. I was telling her that she must have had to struggle a lot in
order to become perfect: “Oh, it's not that!” Novissima Verba adds (The authenticity of this text is questionable): And a little later she said: “Sanctity does not consist in this or that practice; it consists in a disposition of heart which makes us humble and little in the arms of God, conscious of our weakness, and confident to the point of audacity in the goodness of our Father.” |
8-24-17 (Weakness, Frailty), 10-24-14 (Littleness), 12-24-10 (Humility, Humbleness), 16-24-29 (His Will, Perfection, Sanctity) |
| 24 | LC 147, Aug. 12. |
38-24-3 |
3. “Ever since the ear of corn, my sentiments regarding myself are even
lower. But how great the grace is that I received this morning when
the priest began the Confiteor before giving me Communion, and all
the Sisters continued. I saw Jesus very close to giving Himself to
me, and this confession appears to me as such a necessary humiliation.
‘I confess to Almighty God, to Blessed Virgin Mary, to all the saints,
that I have sinned exceedingly ….’ Oh! yes, I said to myself, they
do well to beg pardon from God and all the saints for me at this moment….
Like the publican, I felt I was a great sinner.
I found God to be so
merciful! I found it so touching to address oneself to the whole heavenly
court to obtain God's pardon through its intercession. Ah! I could hardly
keep from crying, and when the Sacred Host touched my lips, I was really
moved. “How extraordinary it is to have experienced this at the Confiteor! I believe it's because of my present disposition; I feel so miserable! My confidence is not lessened, on the contrary; and the word ‘miserable’ is not exact, because I am rich with all the divine treasures; but it's exactly because of this that I humble myself even more. When I think of all the graces God gave me, I restrain myself so as not to shed tears of gratitude continually. “I believe the tears I shed this morning were tears of perfect contrition. Ah! how impossible it is to give oneself such sentiments! It is the Holy Spirit, who gives them, He who ‘breathes where he wills.’” (John 3:8.) |
2-24-58 (Sufferings, Sacrifices, Crosses, Trials), 12-24-14 (Humility, Humbleness), 14-24-28 (The Little Way), 18-24-1 (Holy Communion), 24-24-25 (Mercy of God, Graces), 26-24-1 (Confession), 27-24-10 (Sinners, Sins), 34-24-3 (Repentence, Contrition) |